Brothers and Sisters, it has been awhile, and my blogging has well been extinct until today, so Hi, How are you?
More Importantly How am I?
I could say I was busy, but anyone can say that, I think the real reason for lack of blogging and communication was balance, or lack there of.
I think if I had one word to describe my entire semester out here in the treacherous land of the Ol'West I would say it is
BALANCE.
What is Balance?
For me it has been elusive. I have been pushing my self, pressing on for the name of discipline and perseverance, when God wanted me to simply rest, aka Be Still and Know that he is God. I have been learning this lesson in a number of different ways this semester.
1. Sleeping, A few weeks in a row I would push myself all week until I got to a point when I would just have to sleep, and I would sleep like 10-12 hours. 1 Week it actually made me sick, I came down with some flu thing and slept like 14 hours! Crazy but it was a clear sign to me that I need to learn how to rest. It seems kinda foolish, like come one do I really need to learn how to take a sabbath, Commandment number 4, But then I tried to rest one Sabbath day, and It was hard I literly had to sit and be like no don't get up stay here, sit and read or listen to worship or pray, seemed rediculcous but I felt much better afterward, and rested for my week of work ahead.
2. Eating, So I don't think I have made it know yet but I have been vegetarian this semester, Ok so I have broken it a few times, a few piecies of chicken here and there, and some fish at a diner I was invited to, but for the last two months I have been legit Veggie only, and switched to Rice milk, GOOD STUFF, anyways So In doing so I have found how important it is to have three consistant meals each day. I believe I have what is know as acid reflux disease, basically the entrance from my esophgous to my stomach stays open after I eat food causing alot of burping and indegestion, Im not really sure how long I have had this I just kinda lived with it and didn't notice, until many friends and family, were like you burp alot. So In my great wisdom I thought I will avoid all foods that make me burp or have indegestion. Also eat smaller meal portions and take medicine to help with indgestion. And Im prolly gona have to get checked out by a doc. So any ways that was long and random, but It has taught me to try and be balanced with even meals rather than a huge meal at the end of the day or something.
Ok now that I have bored you with my words, yeah Im just gona start another post to explain what and the world I have been doing the last couple months...
but enjoy this
Proverb: 15:17 Better a small meal of vegetables with love
than a fattened cafe with hatred
(I don't think this verse means we should all be vegetarians or anything, I mostly thought it was fun to use, I think it truly means to value love more than food or something like that, Or maybe don't settle with hatred in order to have a fattened cafe or full meal.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
All night.
Skin feels, dry, clammy, cold, feel slightly out of my body, slept for maybe 40 minutes in a chair last night, then 10 minutes on my bed, then a nap for 40 min in my car. Its a feeling Ive become quite used too in the last year and a half. Insomnia? maybe, not quite that bad. Worn out yes, lack of balance sometimes, stupidity sometimes, not knowing when to say no, and retreat for rest sometimes, but what is our rights? Is our idea of comfort, our right to a good nights sleep? our right to warmth, a bed, comfort, shelter, is that a God given Blessing? or are we simply in the financial means to do so. What does it truly mean,
The foxes of holes and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to rest his head?
I have wrestled and explored what this means and many other calls of Christ for his disciples. And yes we are all disciples, but not all accept the call, The full of call of SURRENDERED life!! Even those who saw him like Peter, did not fully surrender at first, but once he did, he was unstoppable, a force of good on the earth used by God, with the Holy Spirit burning in side of him, SPIRITUAL BAPTISM, do we even know what that means today? Have forgotten his words, his call to be completely different from the ways of this world that we might offer the truest of all LOVE, PEACE, and HOPE! The kind of love that fills the aching void in humanity, the un-answered questions of what more is their to this thing called life?
Once again I challenge myself, and anyone who might listen, ARE YOU a Servant of the MOST HIGH GOD?
ARE YOU LOVING THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART SOUL AND MIND? AND LOVING YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF?
IF MY MOM, OR DAD, SISTER, BROTHER, BEST FRIEND, SCHOOL MATE, GIRLFRIEND, GIRLFRIEND'S MOM, DAD, BROTHERS, MY GRANDMOTHER, MY AUNT, WERE STARVING, THIRSTY, NAKED, COLD, UN-SHELTERED, UN-FEED, WOULD I REALLY BE ABLE TO GO ON LIVING IN PLENTY, WOULD I BE ABLE TO EAT THREE MEALS A DAY AND NOT SO MUCH AS OFFER A PRAYER FOR THEM. THIS IS NOT ABOUT FORGETTING WHAT GOD HAS BLESSED US WITH BUT, DIEING TO OURSELVES
To the Jews who believed Him(to the Christians who believed Him) Jesus said,"If you hold to my teachings, then you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. JOHN 8:13-32
Many Christians believe in Him, but how many are holding to his teachings?
How many are really his disciples?
How many are free?
Free from sin?
Free from death?
Free from lying?
Free from cheating?
Free from course talking?
Free from materialism?
Free from addiction?
Free from worldly success?
Free from performance driven life?
Free from gossip?
Free from sexual impurity?
Free from sin and become a slave to righteousness.
Free from fulfilling the hole in your heart with the temporary things rather than the eternal Glory of the Creator of the Universe, who wants communion with you!
These are my words I want you to know them, I want you to hear them I want you to feel. - Gwen Stacy (An old song from an Christian Hardcore Rock Band, Yes the irony but their lyrics hold TRUTH)
The foxes of holes and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to rest his head?
I have wrestled and explored what this means and many other calls of Christ for his disciples. And yes we are all disciples, but not all accept the call, The full of call of SURRENDERED life!! Even those who saw him like Peter, did not fully surrender at first, but once he did, he was unstoppable, a force of good on the earth used by God, with the Holy Spirit burning in side of him, SPIRITUAL BAPTISM, do we even know what that means today? Have forgotten his words, his call to be completely different from the ways of this world that we might offer the truest of all LOVE, PEACE, and HOPE! The kind of love that fills the aching void in humanity, the un-answered questions of what more is their to this thing called life?
Once again I challenge myself, and anyone who might listen, ARE YOU a Servant of the MOST HIGH GOD?
ARE YOU LOVING THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART SOUL AND MIND? AND LOVING YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF?
IF MY MOM, OR DAD, SISTER, BROTHER, BEST FRIEND, SCHOOL MATE, GIRLFRIEND, GIRLFRIEND'S MOM, DAD, BROTHERS, MY GRANDMOTHER, MY AUNT, WERE STARVING, THIRSTY, NAKED, COLD, UN-SHELTERED, UN-FEED, WOULD I REALLY BE ABLE TO GO ON LIVING IN PLENTY, WOULD I BE ABLE TO EAT THREE MEALS A DAY AND NOT SO MUCH AS OFFER A PRAYER FOR THEM. THIS IS NOT ABOUT FORGETTING WHAT GOD HAS BLESSED US WITH BUT, DIEING TO OURSELVES
To the Jews who believed Him(to the Christians who believed Him) Jesus said,"If you hold to my teachings, then you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. JOHN 8:13-32
Many Christians believe in Him, but how many are holding to his teachings?
How many are really his disciples?
How many are free?
Free from sin?
Free from death?
Free from lying?
Free from cheating?
Free from course talking?
Free from materialism?
Free from addiction?
Free from worldly success?
Free from performance driven life?
Free from gossip?
Free from sexual impurity?
Free from sin and become a slave to righteousness.
Free from fulfilling the hole in your heart with the temporary things rather than the eternal Glory of the Creator of the Universe, who wants communion with you!
These are my words I want you to know them, I want you to hear them I want you to feel. - Gwen Stacy (An old song from an Christian Hardcore Rock Band, Yes the irony but their lyrics hold TRUTH)
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Storms
written on Monday 2/21/11
Lord time is short as always. I'm in the middle of a challenging storm. A storm I'm excited to be in. The storm of God that takes away the dirt. The lose soil. The left over stain from sin. It makes the land new for better production of fruit. The down pour of rain replenishes the cracked dry earth. That has been abused and mistreated. The rivers that have been waning are gushing with life. The lakes that were dying are full and abundant. The lake is ready to clean and to baptize.
Storms take away sin fear, doubt, guilt, and stains.
After the storm comes life.
Psalm 119:147-149
I rise before dawn and cry for help;
I have put my hope in your word.
My eyes stay open through the watches of the
night,
that I may meditate on your promises.
Hear my voice in accordance with your love;
preserve my life, O LORD, according to your laws.
Lord time is short as always. I'm in the middle of a challenging storm. A storm I'm excited to be in. The storm of God that takes away the dirt. The lose soil. The left over stain from sin. It makes the land new for better production of fruit. The down pour of rain replenishes the cracked dry earth. That has been abused and mistreated. The rivers that have been waning are gushing with life. The lakes that were dying are full and abundant. The lake is ready to clean and to baptize.
Storms take away sin fear, doubt, guilt, and stains.
After the storm comes life.
Psalm 119:147-149
I rise before dawn and cry for help;
I have put my hope in your word.
My eyes stay open through the watches of the
night,
that I may meditate on your promises.
Hear my voice in accordance with your love;
preserve my life, O LORD, according to your laws.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Lane Change
WHACK!!!
I pull over and glance in the rear view mirror. Seeing the car that I had just drove by as they were pulling out of the parking spot. I put my blinkers on get a pen and paper and get out of my car. I walked around and inspect the damage. From front passenger door to the rear tire my car is dented and scrapped. The back passenger door seems to taken the bulk of the damage. Looks fixable, just feel stupid for not paying attention more. I try to open the back door no luck. Front door opens.
I walk back to the man who was in the truck. A black Ford Bronco, 1990. Frank, he is mid 50's dark complected Hispanic yet very American. He asks for my insurance & registration, I go back to my glove box to find my insurance, its expired great. But I figure it will be ok. We exchange information, saying little at first. Then I explain I;m from Indiana here at film school, he asks me what I want to do I say direct documentaries. I ask him what he does, he is an EMT, he asks if I was alright, I was like yeah, just feel stupid for changing lanes so fast. He was like yeah be careful. We inspected the damage, his car seems untouched a few small scraps on the bumper. The last thing he said was "I'm in the business of helping people" We shook hands then left.
Lesson:
So what did I learn in all this. BE PATIENT
The day started out like any other, hit the snooze sleep in for another 30 min, I need to work on that. I barely had time for devo, I just read some verses of scripture I have taped to the wall in our apartment. i grab my things and head out the door. Tim a fellow student at LAFSC is waiting in the lobby. Tim is interning on the same floor as me but with a different company, so we carpool to work now.
We are driving along jamming to some mewithoutYou. Traffic was not bad so we were moving a little faster today. the left lane was slowing down, I saw an opening in the right lane and figured I could get over, I quickly put my signal on then start to change lanes, and out of the corner of my eye I see a black truck pulling out of a parking spot, WHACK!!!!!
I stop my car. Get out and realize, it was my fault I changed lanes so quickly and didn't see him pulling out.
Thankfully, no injures, only some body damage to my car. The back right door is dented badly but it still opens. The wheel well was rubbing against the tire when I went over some bumps, but I managed to bend it back with a rubber mallet.
I am officially a red neck!
I pull over and glance in the rear view mirror. Seeing the car that I had just drove by as they were pulling out of the parking spot. I put my blinkers on get a pen and paper and get out of my car. I walked around and inspect the damage. From front passenger door to the rear tire my car is dented and scrapped. The back passenger door seems to taken the bulk of the damage. Looks fixable, just feel stupid for not paying attention more. I try to open the back door no luck. Front door opens.
I walk back to the man who was in the truck. A black Ford Bronco, 1990. Frank, he is mid 50's dark complected Hispanic yet very American. He asks for my insurance & registration, I go back to my glove box to find my insurance, its expired great. But I figure it will be ok. We exchange information, saying little at first. Then I explain I;m from Indiana here at film school, he asks me what I want to do I say direct documentaries. I ask him what he does, he is an EMT, he asks if I was alright, I was like yeah, just feel stupid for changing lanes so fast. He was like yeah be careful. We inspected the damage, his car seems untouched a few small scraps on the bumper. The last thing he said was "I'm in the business of helping people" We shook hands then left.
Lesson:
So what did I learn in all this. BE PATIENT
The day started out like any other, hit the snooze sleep in for another 30 min, I need to work on that. I barely had time for devo, I just read some verses of scripture I have taped to the wall in our apartment. i grab my things and head out the door. Tim a fellow student at LAFSC is waiting in the lobby. Tim is interning on the same floor as me but with a different company, so we carpool to work now.
We are driving along jamming to some mewithoutYou. Traffic was not bad so we were moving a little faster today. the left lane was slowing down, I saw an opening in the right lane and figured I could get over, I quickly put my signal on then start to change lanes, and out of the corner of my eye I see a black truck pulling out of a parking spot, WHACK!!!!!
I stop my car. Get out and realize, it was my fault I changed lanes so quickly and didn't see him pulling out.
Thankfully, no injures, only some body damage to my car. The back right door is dented badly but it still opens. The wheel well was rubbing against the tire when I went over some bumps, but I managed to bend it back with a rubber mallet.
I am officially a red neck!
Monday, February 14, 2011
Humility
Proverbs 18:12
Before his downfall a man's heart is proud,
but humility comes before honor
"Trying to be Paul, without first being Saul"
- A Disciple
Throughout the past couple of weeks I have been going through a trial of humility. I have continually found my self in situations that everything I'm trying to do is failing or being frustrated so I just need to stop, sit, listen, and wait for God's timing in my life. Even something as random as stubbing my toe seems to have occurred in order to allow me to just stop and wait on God. Through this time I have realized that I am trying very hard to serve God in every possible way that I can but in doing this I have very much ignored what he has already done in my life and placed in front of me to do through Christian service that is more about waiting than action. I am trying to be Paul, without first being Saul. Being thrown from a horse and blinded by Jesus, so I may stop relying on what is unseen but rather what is eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
(Journal entry 2/3/11 - 10:10am)
Lord I thank you for rest. Lord I thank you for dreams. Hope. Peace. Warmth. Goals. Ideas. Passion to do great things for your name. Father I have been going through this changing experience and I'm not sure where you are leading me. But its not easy its a little painful. Lord I feel I am here for a different purpose than I originally thought. Yet don't let me harbor spiritual pride. I often think the walk with Christ is like a ladder you climb with different people all over the place, and I think I'm farther than others based on my experiences and choices.
God how can I think that!
You are the one who knows us and where you want us. Lord may I be so oblivious to my own path that I'm constantly relying on you to guide me. May I constantly see others and ask them to get back on the path with you Lord.
Exert from Streams in the Desert
But do not suppose that He has cast thee aside. Thou art still in His quiver; He has not flung thee away as a worthless thing.
He is only keeping thee close till the moment comes when He can send thee most swiftly and surely on some errand in which He will be glorified.
- Streams in the Desert
Before his downfall a man's heart is proud,
but humility comes before honor
"Trying to be Paul, without first being Saul"
- A Disciple
Throughout the past couple of weeks I have been going through a trial of humility. I have continually found my self in situations that everything I'm trying to do is failing or being frustrated so I just need to stop, sit, listen, and wait for God's timing in my life. Even something as random as stubbing my toe seems to have occurred in order to allow me to just stop and wait on God. Through this time I have realized that I am trying very hard to serve God in every possible way that I can but in doing this I have very much ignored what he has already done in my life and placed in front of me to do through Christian service that is more about waiting than action. I am trying to be Paul, without first being Saul. Being thrown from a horse and blinded by Jesus, so I may stop relying on what is unseen but rather what is eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
(Journal entry 2/3/11 - 10:10am)
Lord I thank you for rest. Lord I thank you for dreams. Hope. Peace. Warmth. Goals. Ideas. Passion to do great things for your name. Father I have been going through this changing experience and I'm not sure where you are leading me. But its not easy its a little painful. Lord I feel I am here for a different purpose than I originally thought. Yet don't let me harbor spiritual pride. I often think the walk with Christ is like a ladder you climb with different people all over the place, and I think I'm farther than others based on my experiences and choices.
God how can I think that!
You are the one who knows us and where you want us. Lord may I be so oblivious to my own path that I'm constantly relying on you to guide me. May I constantly see others and ask them to get back on the path with you Lord.
Exert from Streams in the Desert
But do not suppose that He has cast thee aside. Thou art still in His quiver; He has not flung thee away as a worthless thing.
He is only keeping thee close till the moment comes when He can send thee most swiftly and surely on some errand in which He will be glorified.
- Streams in the Desert
Day 38 - LA
2/14/11
Sometimes God puts us through the experience and discipline of darkness to teach us to hear and obey Him. Song birds are taught to sing in the dark, and God puts us into “the shadow of His hand” until we learn to hear Him (Isaiah 49:2). “Whatever I tell you in the dark. . .”— pay attention when God puts you into darkness, and keep your mouth closed while you are there. Are you in the dark right now in your circumstances, or in your life with God? If so, then remain quiet. If you open your mouth in the dark, you will speak while in the wrong mood— darkness is the time to listen. Don’t talk to other people about it; don’t read books to find out the reason for the darkness; just listen and obey. If you talk to other people, you cannot hear what God is saying. When you are in the dark, listen, and God will give you a very precious message for someone else once you are back in the light.
- Oswald Chambers
Sometimes God puts us through the experience and discipline of darkness to teach us to hear and obey Him. Song birds are taught to sing in the dark, and God puts us into “the shadow of His hand” until we learn to hear Him (Isaiah 49:2). “Whatever I tell you in the dark. . .”— pay attention when God puts you into darkness, and keep your mouth closed while you are there. Are you in the dark right now in your circumstances, or in your life with God? If so, then remain quiet. If you open your mouth in the dark, you will speak while in the wrong mood— darkness is the time to listen. Don’t talk to other people about it; don’t read books to find out the reason for the darkness; just listen and obey. If you talk to other people, you cannot hear what God is saying. When you are in the dark, listen, and God will give you a very precious message for someone else once you are back in the light.
- Oswald Chambers
Monday, February 7, 2011
Week 5: 2/6 - 2/12
Sunday: Woke up, went to Ecclessia, heard an amazing sermon on sexual purity, and it was National Porn Awareness Sunday, sponsored by xxxchurch.com We watched a video with NFL athlete's who are open about their struggle with sexual addiction, it was inspiring to see what God is doing!
Monday: Our God is Greater!
Woke up, had just enough time to get dressed grab my stuff, hit the road, I had to fill up on gas. $3.55/gal, could be worse. I felt pretty out of it and kinda just going to internship, then the worship cd that was playing caught my attention, the song Our God is Greater.
I was instantly flooded with memories and emotions of this past summer when I first heard this song. The words of this song gave me great comfort this past summer when I was the video guy at a church camp for Florida Central District and was going through the height of the storm during my summer. I had just finished grueling weeks of balancing, two summer school classes, mowing Lawns three days out of the week, and working video at Shepherd Community the other two days. In other words I was spent! This was also the week before my grandfather passed away. As I listened to the song on my way to work I was just overwhelmed with God's love and power and reminded of the trials he has gotten me through, how easily I forget sometimes.
My toe
So its Monday night, just get back from work down some food, then I board over to the school for a production meeting, I get their and my roommate forgets his binder, I tell him I can get it quicker on the long board. I skate back, I'm about to the steps of my apartment and I think I can power slide to a stop and run in, I miss the stop and my right foot kicks forward from the momentum kicking the bottom step. I foot throbs! I pause for a second wondering if it broken, I think its alright and run up stairs get the binder. I feel my toe to see if its alright, its still in a state of shock, I start boarding back to school and realize, this HURTS! Its not broken but really bruised, like the worst toe stub of my life. I have to limp back home after the meeting. I get back and examine it, no bones sticking out, its swelled, and bruised. I make some ice in a zip lock bag and then prop my foot up.
I take it easy for the next couple days, but find it ironic that I have been learning humility and have this happen in which I have to stop and rest, and rely on others to help me along. Thanks God! and who ever said you don't have a sense of humor...
Friday
Went to work, average day printed scripts, and answered phone calls. That evening though my roommate Gordon and I had planned to hang out, we went on a raid for scrap wood to have a bon fire on the beach Saturday! we ate some freezer pizza after work, then set off armed with flashlights and head lamps. First couple of stores nothing, then we went behind a K-Mart, some broken pallets, score. We realize we might need a hammer or something to break them down so they better fit in our car. We go to Target I but a hatchet, and he bus some hot dog scours to cook over the fire. We drive to another shopping area to search for more wood. We find some more broken pallets, score again!
On the way back we are exhausted and have my back seat and trunk full of wood. We see a Yum Yum donuts that is open 24 hours, we can't resist we stop and get some freshly made donuts!
Saturday- Beach Day
Went to the beach with our production group to just hang out and get to know each other. Gordon, Tim and I go early to save a fire pit, and start setting up the fire wood. Another beautiful sunset, Man I'm blessed to see this so much! I just enjoy sitting and watching it go down over the vast ocean!!! God is cool, he made that big body of water!
Monday: Our God is Greater!
Woke up, had just enough time to get dressed grab my stuff, hit the road, I had to fill up on gas. $3.55/gal, could be worse. I felt pretty out of it and kinda just going to internship, then the worship cd that was playing caught my attention, the song Our God is Greater.
I was instantly flooded with memories and emotions of this past summer when I first heard this song. The words of this song gave me great comfort this past summer when I was the video guy at a church camp for Florida Central District and was going through the height of the storm during my summer. I had just finished grueling weeks of balancing, two summer school classes, mowing Lawns three days out of the week, and working video at Shepherd Community the other two days. In other words I was spent! This was also the week before my grandfather passed away. As I listened to the song on my way to work I was just overwhelmed with God's love and power and reminded of the trials he has gotten me through, how easily I forget sometimes.
My toe
So its Monday night, just get back from work down some food, then I board over to the school for a production meeting, I get their and my roommate forgets his binder, I tell him I can get it quicker on the long board. I skate back, I'm about to the steps of my apartment and I think I can power slide to a stop and run in, I miss the stop and my right foot kicks forward from the momentum kicking the bottom step. I foot throbs! I pause for a second wondering if it broken, I think its alright and run up stairs get the binder. I feel my toe to see if its alright, its still in a state of shock, I start boarding back to school and realize, this HURTS! Its not broken but really bruised, like the worst toe stub of my life. I have to limp back home after the meeting. I get back and examine it, no bones sticking out, its swelled, and bruised. I make some ice in a zip lock bag and then prop my foot up.
I take it easy for the next couple days, but find it ironic that I have been learning humility and have this happen in which I have to stop and rest, and rely on others to help me along. Thanks God! and who ever said you don't have a sense of humor...
Friday
Went to work, average day printed scripts, and answered phone calls. That evening though my roommate Gordon and I had planned to hang out, we went on a raid for scrap wood to have a bon fire on the beach Saturday! we ate some freezer pizza after work, then set off armed with flashlights and head lamps. First couple of stores nothing, then we went behind a K-Mart, some broken pallets, score. We realize we might need a hammer or something to break them down so they better fit in our car. We go to Target I but a hatchet, and he bus some hot dog scours to cook over the fire. We drive to another shopping area to search for more wood. We find some more broken pallets, score again!
On the way back we are exhausted and have my back seat and trunk full of wood. We see a Yum Yum donuts that is open 24 hours, we can't resist we stop and get some freshly made donuts!
Saturday- Beach Day
Went to the beach with our production group to just hang out and get to know each other. Gordon, Tim and I go early to save a fire pit, and start setting up the fire wood. Another beautiful sunset, Man I'm blessed to see this so much! I just enjoy sitting and watching it go down over the vast ocean!!! God is cool, he made that big body of water!
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