All night.

Skin feels, dry, clammy, cold, feel slightly out of my body, slept for maybe 40 minutes in a chair last night, then 10 minutes on my bed, then a nap for 40 min in my car. Its a feeling Ive become quite used too in the last year and a half. Insomnia? maybe, not quite that bad. Worn out yes, lack of balance sometimes, stupidity sometimes, not knowing when to say no, and retreat for rest sometimes, but what is our rights? Is our idea of comfort, our right to a good nights sleep? our right to warmth, a bed, comfort, shelter, is that a God given Blessing? or are we simply in the financial means to do so. What does it truly mean,

The foxes of holes and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to rest his head?

I have wrestled and explored what this means and many other calls of Christ for his disciples. And yes we are all disciples, but not all accept the call, The full of call of SURRENDERED life!! Even those who saw him like Peter, did not fully surrender at first, but once he did, he was unstoppable, a force of good on the earth used by God, with the Holy Spirit burning in side of him, SPIRITUAL BAPTISM, do we even know what that means today? Have forgotten his words, his call to be completely different from the ways of this world that we might offer the truest of all LOVE, PEACE, and HOPE! The kind of love that fills the aching void in humanity, the un-answered questions of what more is their to this thing called life?

Once again I challenge myself, and anyone who might listen, ARE YOU a Servant of the MOST HIGH GOD?

ARE YOU LOVING THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART SOUL AND MIND? AND LOVING YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF?

IF MY MOM, OR DAD, SISTER, BROTHER, BEST FRIEND, SCHOOL MATE, GIRLFRIEND, GIRLFRIEND'S MOM, DAD, BROTHERS, MY GRANDMOTHER, MY AUNT, WERE STARVING, THIRSTY, NAKED, COLD, UN-SHELTERED, UN-FEED, WOULD I REALLY BE ABLE TO GO ON LIVING IN PLENTY, WOULD I BE ABLE TO EAT THREE MEALS A DAY AND NOT SO MUCH AS OFFER A PRAYER FOR THEM. THIS IS NOT ABOUT FORGETTING WHAT GOD HAS BLESSED US WITH BUT, DIEING TO OURSELVES

To the Jews who believed Him(to the Christians who believed Him) Jesus said,"If you hold to my teachings, then you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. JOHN 8:13-32

Many Christians believe in Him, but how many are holding to his teachings?

How many are really his disciples?

How many are free?

Free from sin?

Free from death?

Free from lying?

Free from cheating?

Free from course talking?

Free from materialism?

Free from addiction?

Free from worldly success?

Free from performance driven life?

Free from gossip?

Free from sexual impurity?

Free from sin and become a slave to righteousness.

Free from fulfilling the hole in your heart with the temporary things rather than the eternal Glory of the Creator of the Universe, who wants communion with you!

These are my words I want you to know them, I want you to hear them I want you to feel. - Gwen Stacy (An old song from an Christian Hardcore Rock Band, Yes the irony but their lyrics hold TRUTH)